Long Life

Review by bobwaffles

"Life - A review"

Most of you have probably heard of Life. It is the biggest MMORPG in the world as of now. It was developed by God.

Story 8/10

The story is good depending on what class you take and what decisions you make, sort of the Shadow the Hedgehog. You can get your own job and choose which clothes you want to get. You have to spend the first few years as a juvenile and get used to Life. The learning curve is several years long, but it starts to get fun before that. One big losing factor in the story is that it takes a few months to develop your moving ability, which is crawl. Crawling is very slow, but you can eventually develop into walk, run, pedal, and drive. The story is infested with unfair happenings, like getting blamed for stealing a cookie, but hey, Life ain't fair.

Graphics 10/10

The graphics are THE BEST graphics I have ever seen in a game. Everything is photo-quality. The calculations of doing certain tasks are real-time, so if you make your character eat, it increases his size and weight perfectly in real time. The landscapes are beautiful where it is supposed to be and the size of the world map is immense. It will take you a couple of years to get across from one end to the other with a standard vehicle. The physics are also perfect with pinpoint accuracy. Some parts of the game are ugly, but I think it was meant to be.

Controls 6/10

The controls are extremely accurate, but gets tedious a lot. The quests you have to do in school during the learning curve period is tedious, which involves writing long and boring essays for school, but you can skip that part if you want, although that would screw the whole game up by skipping school. You can use your arms to open doors, drive the steering wheel, and fap, but you also have to use it for writing and working, which gets you really tired and requires you to spend a whole eight hours recharging to start it working again.

Gameplay 4/10

This is where the game falls short. Although it is fun at times, most of the game is extremely tedious if you want a successful game. Some jobs are fun, like pirate or cop, but most successful jobs are tedious, since you have to spend nearly two decades grinding for a job, such as a doctor. I suggest you become the thug class, although it won't be so fun anymore once you get a Game Over. Most of the classes suck, since the fun ones aren't rewarding at all. Normally, most games have a solution to this, but Life doesn't. You only get ONE life for the whole game! No 1-ups are found anywhere and you respawn in one of two places; one where it is absolute hell, literally, and the other where you can only do good deeds and boring stuff. Getting hit by a sword of being shot with a bullet usually means death unless you're lucky. The enemy AI is good, but some are extremely stupid while others hide in a building and snipe you from there, especially if you choose the thug or terrorist job. Still, there are a number of fun minigames, such as bowling and basketball, which display perfect graphics, accuracy, gameplay, and physics. There is also a extremely fun minigame you can do once you are over the age of consent and out of the learning curve period. >_>

Servers 6/10

The servers are always up and running, but the moderators can be extremely stupid, such as George W. Bush. The moderators are always banning and killing off innocent players. There are also many idiots running around killing people for the fun of it, such as Saddam Hussien. Fortunately, Hussien was banned >from the servers for life. There is still an extremely naughty troublemaker by the name over Lucifer, who's alternate account is Satan who has yet to be caught. Fortunately, there is a God-like moderator named Jesus who makes perfect decisions and will ban Satan eventually.

Replay Value 8/10

The game lasts pretty long. At an average of about 90 years and sometimes even up to 120! There used to be a time when the game lasted till about 1000 years, but the users were complete morons and that called the head administrator to shorten that length to 100. There is a nearly infinite amount of side quests, although you probably won't be enought time to do it in a hundred years. One person named Dio Brando managed to using his ZA WARUDO ability. After you get a game over, you either go to one of two places, which can be bad or good depending on how you played.

Overall 6/10

Life has perfect graphics, sound, and physics, but those aren't what makes a game. The servers are good, but there is a corrupt economy with idiots killing off everyone, whether good or bad. The replay value is good, but only lasts a hundred years. The gameplay is extremely tedious, but can be fun at times. If the gameplay was more fun, exciting, and less repetitive, this game might have gotten a near-perfect score. I haven't manage to die yet in this game, so I can't tell you about what happens when you die.

I wouldn't exactly recommend this game, but you don't have much of a choice.

Reviewer's Score: 6/10, Originally Posted: 02/05/07